Dec 29 2010
Old Notebooks
I have two notebooks that I consider very good friends. One sits by my bed and the other travels around the house with me from TV to chair to floor to the bath…you get the picture. I am always contemplating, weighing my situation and having breakthroughs or breakdowns. I pour my soul into their pages. Things people have said and how they made me feel, quotes that inspired me, moments I want to remember; they all go inside. When I am feeling down I flip through the pages and can see how blessed I am and how crazy it is for me to be feeling down. There is so much to feel good about. And when I am not feeling good I write it down and let it go. I have never been the type of person to speak out of anger. But to never express my frustration isn’t necessarily helpful either. I write it. Then I can rant and scream without hurting those I love. We’re never going to get along with everyone in our lives all the time, but we don’t have to spew our anger and vomitt it on everyone we know. This morning I stumbled on a quote I had to record.
“Often we can achieve an even better result when we stumble yet are willing to start over, when we don’t give up after a mistake, when something doesn’t come easily but we throw ourselves into trying, when we’re not afraid to appear less than perfectly polished.” -Sharon Salzberg
I love that! It sounds like me! I am always stumbling, and making a fool of myself in the process. And I’m OK with that. I can’t NOT try. I can’t NOT believe that my “less than perfectly polished” self is going to make quite a splash one of these days. And tomorrow, when I’m feeling a bit lost, I will open my notebook and remind myself of that!
